Dappan koothu…….

movies, matter, mania

The blue film experience!!!!!!!

with 8 comments

Forgive me O Ganesha, for I have sinned. Having done the unthinkable, the unpardonable I stand before you with my head hung in shame. I regret my actions and take a solemn vow to never ever repeat the same. I was lured by a couple of friends and unknowingly became part of the act while my partners in crime were all gleaming with satisfaction as I gave in. I have however now learnt to identify exotic art and will not let my senses trick me into submission once again. I would also like to confess the experience and the rush of emotions in me as I climaxed and collapsed on the chair in exhaustion. I was later awoken by my friends and I particularly enjoyed the last few minutes of the film as they climaxed and we all were tired and drowsy in the end. After the whole nerve-wreaking exercise, I ate like a horse and could have eaten more if not for the cold stares of the waitress. I’ve never heard of people being so hungry after such an experience that most prefer to call as pleasure, but I guess it was my first time and such things are bound to happen.

It all begun on a Sunday morning when the phone rang

he: heya, watcha doin today?
me: umm nuthin much, just the usual sleep-lunch-sleep-dinner-sleep sunday routine
he: gosh, you need to get out. I’ll pick you up in twenty.
me: do you mind telling me, where we goin?
he: do the words ‘exotic art’ entice you?
me: not really, i stay away from all forms of art.
he: you’ve got the flair or else why would you like pink floyd?
********************************************
A lot of yada-yada discussing the lyrics of some PF songs inner meaning etc which I wish to skip as they are irrelevant to this post.
********************************************
he: watever dude, you’re coming and I wont take no for an answer
me: doesn’t look like I have a choice
he: trust me you’ll love it, and will surely make a post out of it.
me: yea rite, might as well do something instead of the Sunday routine

So we reached the place and it was full of people dressed in their best clothes with the women sporting layers of make up and the men all seriously chatting away. My so-called-friends showed me a photo of the director who they said was one of the best in the business and I was in fact lucky to even be there.

me: hey, this is no art exhibition.
he: cinema is also a form of art, and this is exotic art remember
me: you just wait
he: chill dude, it’s your first time and you are therefore bound to be nervous and finicky

Suddenly everyone goes quite and the music starts. I was just casually looking around me and was soon drawn towards a very beautiful damsel (henceforth BD). I am forced to refrain from describing the maiden as I don’t want her to get stuck in my head again and also the fact that this blog is read by a wider section of the society. My friend nudged me and said “Here’s your lady, what do you have to say now? Shuru ho ja”. We were soon joined by a guy (you’re right a guy!) who had worn nothing underneath his towel and my friend adds that he has a cute ass! If that was not enough we were joined by a whore (interestingly it was her third experience) and an granny who seemed way past seventy. Her vampire red lipstick and nails gave me the shivers but the guy-in-towel (henceforth GIT) hugged her and I guess he felt a connection with her. It was good initially as there were a lot of sounds of oooh-aaah etc and I thought everyone was enjoying it. Soon comes another burly looking man(henceforth BLM)  whose eyes tell you he has been drinking all night and it was total mayhem as I sat confused. BLM was brought to balance the equation I presume but his inclusion put things out of control.

Myself and GIT wanted BD, but BD wanted BLM and the whore wanted GIT. Nobody wanted me or the granny and this is when I climaxed and passed out due to exhaustion. I just couldn’t take it anymore but also felt sad for the granny though briefly she seemed interested in GIT and vice versa. I was awakened by a strong smell of perspiration for it was well past two hours since the proceedings had begun. I didn’t realize how long I slept but learnt that the dejected GIT was turned away by the whore as well (confusing eh? same feeling…) and BD momentarily decided to do it with GIT before BLM came and took her. Those two hours actually felt like four nights and I had excruciating pain in my lower back thanks to the uncomfortable and squeaky chair. Exotic art my foot! But everybody was all smiles and my friends liked GIT’s butt a lot in particular (queer assholes).

I regret my actions and swear never to repeat the same ever again even if Mr.Spielberg enters this industry and makes a similar film. O Ganesha, I hope you forgive me and pray that my readers don’t leave me for writing such a post.

PS: Saawariya is boring, contrived and I really fell asleep!

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Written by maxdavinci

November 15, 2007 at 10:56 pm

8 Responses

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  1. glad u warned me…but anyway i have no plans of watching this silly movie in theatre… thought of downloading it..but now willl not….

    Giridhar Chandrasekar

    November 16, 2007 at 12:49 am

  2. innovative dude…lol (your article, not saawariya)

    junktrailer

    November 16, 2007 at 1:12 pm

  3. @ giridhar: yea it isn’t worth downloading

    @ junktrailer: am glad you liked…

    maxdavinci

    November 16, 2007 at 1:16 pm

  4. whatay queer blue film.
    jolly good read.

    maami

    December 4, 2007 at 12:36 am

  5. thnx maami

    maxdavinci

    December 4, 2007 at 12:52 am

  6. lol on the neela pada review…

    lurked around and got here from Krish Ashok…

    ———
    me: It was India’s first 70mm blue film!

    mayo

    February 4, 2008 at 5:38 pm

  7. […] Bheema is the first tamizh gay film and makes Will&Grace look amateurish. After giving us India’s first 70mm blue film for Diwali, the industry gives us a gay flick for Pongal! Shekar adores and idolizes Chinna ever […]

  8. […] Non-Existent story of the year: It has been a fantastic year for bad cinema with great names doing the needful, and Sanjay Leela Bhansali has condescended to give us a story that begun and ended without any change. It takes sheer talent and great dedication to write a story that spans three hours and yet leaves everything like it was, untouched. We need to encourage such manuscripts and they shall serve as inspiration to the millions of small time writers. Please join me in applauding SLB for his commendable contribution to bad cinema and giving us India’s first blue film. […]


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